What Me Worry

What Me Worry


As a young boy, fear in most cases was not in my realm of reality. Sure I was conscious of the dangers of a snake bite or getting run over by an automobile as I rode my bicycle, but I never lay awake at night worrying about these dangers.

If I had one fear, it was dirty underwear, yes dirty underwear. My Mom always told me and my brothers to be sure and wear clean underwear in case we had go to the hospital.

Back in the 1950s and 1960s, there must have been a team of inspectors at the hospital to inspect the underwear of children in order to see if they were clean or dirty.

I always made sure my underwear was clean because you never knew when that emergency trip to the hospital was coming and I wasn’t going to be the one with dirty underwear.

Youngsters know no fear, they take each day as it comes. Life to them is an eternity and there will be plenty of time to do things that need to be done before life is over.

At times I ask my wife, “Did you ever think we would get this old?”

I was the ripe old age of nineteen when I spoke those nuptial vows and I had no thought that life would age me for a very long time. My only concern at the time was being a man and protecting my new mate.

As the years progressed and I accumulated more and more of life, things began to change and I saw things in a different way. Reality, if you will, began to set in.

As my years progressed, fears became more relevant.

Allow me to assemble a breakdown of how I see the thought process of life.

Early childhood—during early childhood you want for nothing more than food and the love of your mother. If you fall and skin your knee, you run to your mother crying and after a little TLC (tender loving care) you are good to go. No worries, simply a good night sleep.

Teenage years—the biggest fear during this time is the fear of rejection either by your peers or that sweet young lady that you would like to ask out on date. Rejection is a realistic fear, because it can cause you lose all your self esteem. In todays world, not so much as when I was growing up, it can lead to suicide.

Early adult—this is the time when you began to look around each corner and lay awake at night losing sleep. I need to be able to support my family, I have bills to pay, the Jones’ have a nicer home than we do, I can afford that. Our bills outpace our paycheck, we spend and then worry about how we can pay for it.

Middle age— you have had a great career and retirement is closer in the sunset than ever before. The children have left home and now is the time to relax a bit and enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, Mom and Dad have aged and the responsibility lies in your hands to make sure their end of life is good. Your spare time is spent keeping them comfortable, after all who looked after you when you couldn't look after yourself. Your maturity and love for them compels you to love them through it.

Late middle age—The time you have dreamed of, retirement is just over the hill, Mom and Dad  are now gone, your children have children, fun is the order of the day. A good granddad forgets about the little things that he would never allow his children to do or have. Things like lots of candy and ice cream, spoiling in every way possible. You simply want to enjoy life.

As a sidebar, someone made the statement to me years ago concerning grandchildren. It was simply stated that if they knew they could love grandchildren this much, they would have had them first. Beyond this being humanly impossible, the words did resonate and I know why they felt as they did.

When you are in the early adult part of life and the children, in some cases not mine, are flowing like water from a water spiket, you are so concerned about taking care of their welfare.

You want them to have the best things in life and you spend your waking hours working to afford it. Stress, fatigue, and worry are apart of life therefore robbing you of some of the joy life can bring during this time.

Now you allow their parents to do the aforementioned worrying and you play with the grands.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Retirement years—The time when life settles down and you and your sweetie of many years decide that traveling, sightseeing, and simply enjoying the winter of your life becomes reality. You have saved and gotten out of debt just for these mentioned things and you begin planning for what is left of life. However now your health becomes a big concern.

The most remembered statement from the movie Forest Gump comes to mind as I write this column. “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never now what you’re gonna get.”

A true statement in every sense of the word and applies directly to life as we know it.

My Dad told me once, he worked as a civilian on an air force base, that the jet fighter pilots were usually about nineteen to twenty-five years old.

I asked why so young and his reply was, that at that age you know no fear, it is not until about twenty-five that you begin to know it is real.

Fear is real and the older we get the more we realize this.

This past August, my wife and I took an Alaskan cruise, something I have wanted to do for years. We returned to Seattle and rented a car and drove back across the West, something else I have always wanted to do.
My fear at this stage is not seeing everything I want to see. So I am going to do what everyone says you are supposed to do-to conquer my fear, I am to face my fear.

I have decided to visit Tombstone and Deadwood.

“Life Happens”