Chivalry in the 21st Century

                                                     Chivalry in the 21st Century



While life seems to creep up on guys like me, I am amazed at the values we have set upon the shelf; values that have begun gathering dust. It seems that in the age in which we live, everyone plays or wants to be a victim. Most people that live and breathe today refuse to take responsibility for their actions and take pride in laying the blame on others. I never want or intend for my blog to be political or controversial; however the above is stated to bring to light an issue that is of concern to me.

As you have read in my past writings, I grew up in a family with three brothers. My Dad and Mom worked tirelessly to ensure we were raised on values. In the 1950’s you rarely came across someone who didn’t have values. We were taught to shake hands properly, open the door for others, and to say Ma’am and Sir, (I think that is a Southern thing).

The worse crime in the school system when I was young was getting caught smoking in the boy’s room; I think Alice Cooper wrote a song about “Smokin in the Boys Room.” We respected authority, we may not have cared much for a teacher or principal, but we respected their position.

There was a mutual respect among the teenagers and police officers, sure we tried to get away with things, but when pulled over we showed respect to the officer as he did the same to us. However, most of all there was a great respect for ladies.

Several years ago my wife and I took her 87 year old mother to dinner. Upon arrival at the restaurant, the lobby was full with no available seating. My mother-in-law, being elderly, walked with a cane to aid in her balance. To my surprise not one man in that lobby yielded his chair to that old woman, she had to stand till our table was ready. I was appalled and embarrassed for my gender.

I am sad to say this problem has gotten worse in this great country of ours. Society has developed an “it’s all about me” mentality and it is ruining our society. What has happened to our manners, integrity, and chivalry?

Early in 2000, my wife and I, flew to Cancun, Mexico for a week vacation; we did not rent a car so public transportation was our means of travel.

One afternoon we decided to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some snacks and drinks. I think Wal-Mart is everywhere and by going there I became an international Wal-Mart customer.


We caught a bus, found our seat and proceeded with our shopping expedition in this country of which we were a visitor. It is customary when you are in another country to respect their traditions and try to at least speak a little of their language, so we were sensitive to this issue.
The first and best words to learn in any foreign language are “where’s the bathroom” but that’s for another story.

As the bus continued its travel we noticed the stops were getting more frequent and more and more people were boarding. My wife told me it must be getting off time because the people looked more like workers than shoppers. When the bus stopped again a young woman got on and proceeded to stand in the isle, there were no seats available and no one offered theirs to her. I was concerned with the language barrier, but stood and tapped her on the shoulder and motioned for her to take my seat. She looked surprised and shook her head “No.” I insisted and she smiled and took the seat, but I was getting looks from the other men and boys on the bus.

The young woman spoke English; she thanked me and told me that men in Mexico do not give up their seats to women, which explained the stares. I politely told her, “I was raised to respect a lady and to relinquish my seat when I saw a lady standing.”

Chivalry was formed in the 11th Century, the word refers to horsemen or knights and only men with a solid reputations and a warrior mentality could join the ranks of Knighthood. The ancient code of chivalry was put together in the 11th and 12th century and had Ten Commandments, all of which are inspiring and could be used today.

The ninth code fits this writing very well, “Thou shalt be generous, and give largess to everyone” (Be generous to everyone). Those words inspire me because it follows right along with doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Chivalry is all about respect, being a man, having integrity and being generous.

Of late, I have seen more of the courtesy in young men than in years before. Is someone teaching these values, if so I would love to know where they do it so we can flood social media with the address. If it is on face book, twitter, pinterest or my space, then the younger generation and even us old guys (I must admit I stay on these sites more than I need to) will see it. How do I know this? Sit in any restaurant in America and watch the families play with their smart phones instead of carrying on a family conversation.

Chivalry needs to be resurrected and used every day, it must not die the slow painful death and then forgotten. My concern is that my generation is the last generation to have any chivalrous values.

 I love to hear the sound of gratefulness when you hold the door for someone, smile and greet someone with a “Good Morning or How are you.” The good feeling you get deep in your heart when you have done a generous deed.

Is chivalry dead? Not yet, but it is weak and not getting around very well, maybe it needs a shot of B12 to give it a punch and get it active once again and my generation has the opportunity to do just that. So I pose a challenge to every man, be Chivalrous in everything, every day take responsibility for your actions and instruct the young men that follow in the ways of chivalry and generosity. I t will make our world a better place to live.
Chivalry never died, the gentleman in most men did. Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but, being a gentleman is a matter of choice
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I hear my wife at the door with groceries, got to go be generous and help her bring them in.

“Life Happens”